Pimms, Or Should I Say Slimms?

What My Scales Think

Hello Helloooo, if you have read my post about Sarah Knights astonishing books, then you will know, that I am now on a new journey of life, personal growth and self learning. One of the decisions that I have made recently is to enrolled back a Slimming World because, well, I am massively over weight and need to lose at least 4 stone!!!! No Fucking Joke. I stood on the scales and after what I saw I was half expecting the little guy that works in side them to jump out with his hat and coat and scream, ” fuck that, I have had enough and this fatty has just tipped the scales” I’m not even joking, serious feelings. 19st 2 lb, that was my weight, I have never been that big before, granted I have NEVER been a slim chicken, I have always had some sort of meat and chunk to the body but that shocked me, that SCARED me!!!

So, after realising that I am in the right place, I start. Listening to all the stories from the past week that the other ladies in group have experienced. Some crying at 1\2 lb losses, me, laughing at the prospect of having countless amounts of comedic material for evermore with these ladies crying, “I just haven’t drunk enough water”. Seriously? Please? Some laughing at being off plan and still losing weight. For me, I love slimming world because you really can eat what you like, no point me going on a juicy programme, or a meat only programme. Bitch, I likes my food, Okrrrr?! Slimming world offers a balance that I feel will help me become better educated and acquainted with the foods I eat. I am a terrible portion person, I fear that there will not be enough, so I stack my plate, bowl, platter, with as much as I can possible eat and then tuck in. I know the bad points to this so I don’t need a pep talk on how that is damaging but overall I know that slimmers will help me in long run, gain a better understanding and a better knowledge of what it is I am actually eating.

The one thing I also love to do is partake in the consumption of alcoholic beverages. I agree that I am not as bad or as terrible as I once was, however, I still have the odd binge session where I can consume as much as possible because I feel that that’s what is expected of me; either drinking with friends, or drinking alone. I need to stop this thought process. Right. NOW! I need to realise that it is not healthy, the health implications of this way of drinking is damaging to my body and my mind and it needs to be sorted. So, slimmers helps me balance the books on drinking alcohol. The one thing though is that I love LOVE LOVE, on a hot summers day, nothing more that sitting outside, in the sun with a gorgeously refreshing pimms. Bad choice on slimming world but there is a silver lining. A free option, yes, FREE (albeit alcohol free). Completely allowed to drink this on slimmers, as much as I want for as long as I want and I do not need to *”syn” it.

*for the basis of this post we will now refer to Syns as regret. Lets not syn, never need to regret

Slimms, as I have started calling it, is simple concoction of 2 lt of any type of diet lemonade and 2 tbsp of balsamic vinegar. Stop looking so repulsed, I did until I tried it and I will never go back. It tastes identical. The refreshingly satisfying taste to help quench the thirst. It is magical and well worth every penny, in fact, it costs pennies to make. We all have balsamic in the cupboard so we don’t need to go out a buy some. The lemonade costs as little as 19p depending on where you buy it from and you add whatever fruit you like. The only certainty is the inclusion of mint; you need the mint to elevate the taste sensation that truly explodes within the mouth once you have had your first slurp of Slimms.



  • 2 Litres of Diet Lemonade
  • 2 Table Spoons of Balsamic Vinegar
  • A Good Bunch of Fresh Mint, (do not attempt to use dried, you dirty buggers)
  • Lemon Slices
  • Lime Slices
  • Orange Slice
  • Raspberries (optional)
  • Strawberries (optional)
  • Cucumber (optional)
  • Blueberries (optional)
  • Whatever Fruit You Like (optional)
  • Ice Cubes
  • If you want alcohol then by all means add some but this
  • then needs to be counted (if on slimming world) If not, then fuck counting that and enjoy your self

IMG_3911 (1)

You Will Need

  • 1 JugYou Will Need
  • 1 Glass (unless you are nice and want to share)



Place all ingredients into the jug, stir and pour. Once you have had your first slip, swear to whatever Deity takes your choice and realise that this drink is the start of something new.

IMG_3916.jpgI honestly believe that once you have tried it, about 95% of the world will  LOVE this beverage as much as I do. The other 5% can stick to water and be boring farts.

Eat, Drink and be merry, but most importantly, ENJOY.


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